to ask a girl out for a date
It can be tough asking a girl out, but even tougher if you do it wrong. Asking for a date can be intimidating and most guys dread rejection; and consistently getting rejected is bad for your ego and your confidence. Starting small is the best way to ask for a date; it won't scare them off and won't hurt your confidence as much if you're rejected.
When you do ask a girl for a date, do it in person. It's too easy to reject someone over the phone, and email or IM is a bad idea too. I will say there are a few exceptions; for example, if you met her online and haven't met her, but that's a completely different situation. This article is meant to deal with asking a girl that you know in person out.
It's too direct and
makes it too easy for them to say "No".
First, you have to get to know that person. You may already know them casually and talk to them. That's a huge first step (plus-- why would you ask a complete stranger out, knowing nothing about them?).
Don't focus on rejection, either. If all you are thinking about is being rejected, you'll be nervous and it will show. Instead, tell yourself, "I'm not asking for a date, I'm just setting up a time to hang out".
So if you know her a little and are comfortable enough to make small talk, it can still be awkward asking for a date. One thing you must not do is say "Do you want to go out with me?" or "Do you want to go on a date?" or "Will you go with me?". These phrases are too intimidating and aren't very original.
A much better way to ask a girl for a date is something like:
"Hey, I'd like to get together and go do something with you sometime."
That makes it much
harder for them to say, "I can't, I'm busy"... because you haven't
stated a specific time. You can judge by her reaction if she likes you;
if she says "Sure" or "ok" or "what do you have
in mind"-- or anything else that sounds positive-- she's probably
up for giving you a shot.
Although I have to
say for date ideas, going to dinner is not that original. If you're a
good at making conversation, or you already know her and have hit it off
and can talk for hours, then you're fine! A nice dinner can be a good
Instead, think of
a more unique date idea; Beach combing? A walk in the park? Browsing shops
downtown? Flying a kite? Horseback riding? Playing frisbee? Going to a
museum? See our list of Free & Cheap
Date Ideas, you might be able to take her on a fun free date!
It all depends on what you are comfortable with, what's in your area, and what you think she'd enjoy. If she really likes you, she'll probably say "yes" to going out even if it's not her favorite thing to do!
Another great way
to get a date is to also start "hanging out" in a non-dating
situation-- for example, invite her if you're going with a group of people.
Keep in mind though that if she's not interested in you, you cannot "force" her to date you. It doesn't mean you asked incorrectly or she doesn't find you attractive; I know plenty of girls that turn guys down that they find attractive for other reasons, like not wanting to date, already having a boyfriend, or having a crush on someone else.
So don't take it personally,
and move on! You don't ever want to be rude to her because she doesn't
want to date you; Be just as nice as before. Don't obsess about it and
when the next girl comes along, be positive!
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